“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive … and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”
Maya Angelou

If it’s not fun, we might as well be using” –Nora Keefer

All week long I look forward to connecting with my good friend and heart doctor, Rasa Lila Petitt. We’ve been conference calling each other for years now and to me it feels like church.

Tony Cade Bambara says that if she can’t dance to it, it’s not her revolution. I say if we can’t laugh at ourselves then I’d rather be doing something else. Humor keeps me open.

I need to be open when listening to my friend Rasa share how tempting it is to get caught up in romance drama so that we can keep building trust and accountability.

I know some of her most classic moves and she asks me to catch her at it.  For example getting her needs met for excitement and attention in the past, meant seducing people in public into admiring her outer appearance, and then once she had their attention, cutting off the interaction or getting more physically involved in a way that felt out of integrity with her value of creating mutual respect. 

“Catching” Rasa at her old habits means to let her fall into the humor and the sadness of her past and make new decisions in the present and future. 

It’s not that hard for her now to get her needs for attention and excitement fulfilled by doing the work of writing an essay for this website or improvisational poetry which takes work to plan to attend and then wait many hours to share and perform.

Rasa knows my old habits as well! The most common one is to get my needs for clarity satisfied by initiating or encouraging conflict. After much practice with Rasa and others, my new normal is to make requests from people for clarity I’m genuinely accept whatever they choose.

I actually enjoy the work romance recovery because it slows me down and learning patience with myself feels really sweet.

The point is that to get our needs met peacefully and with integrity have to do some thinking, we have to practice practice practice, make many mistakes, celebrate our successes, and most importantly stop taking ourselves so seriously!!!

Romance addiction is about using the drama of romance to distract us from the real work of daily life with our friends our family and our faith. It is not as sexy as all the romantic movies in commercials but it rewards us with the quality of a real life instead of the emptiness  of a Fantasy Life.

Walking this path take maturity, readiness, willingness, and we both believe a strong faith in a particular Religious path (of which we respect all). It’s fun and easy the way we do it and if you’d like to check it out for free for yourself just let Rasa know.